i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
