oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
