i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize