its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
My bed smells like the plague
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
