We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
