I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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