it wasn't lemon gatorade
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
