Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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