I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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