maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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