jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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