Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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