dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
