Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
