yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
