'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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