normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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