I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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