Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
