Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
