at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
