Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
