So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
