You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I looked at my own cervix.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
