ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize