they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize