My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize