I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize