he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
We are two peas in an std pod
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
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