I looked at my own cervix.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
