I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
