check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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