Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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