Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize