Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
You made out with two different species that night
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
