I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
