my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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