We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize