hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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