I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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