The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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