My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
