I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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