The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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