Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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