we have officially lost it.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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