It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
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