Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I just made out with a guy for $7.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
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