If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
one two three fourrrrnication!
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize