Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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