Well apparently he's into motor boating.
dude i'm inner monologue high
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Randomize
