AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
