who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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