who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
