He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize