we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
