I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
