Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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