would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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