Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
