Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Randomize
