I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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