I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
