It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
