I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
my shit smells like andre
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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