I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
