is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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