If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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