I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
