Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
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